A Canine Conundrum: To Hug or Not to Hug?

I remember receiving an email a while back which made me feel nauseous. In it, a concerned dog owner explained how his dog isn’t great with children because when they put their arms around the dog’s neck and hug it, or get up close to the dog’s face, the dog responds by snapping or growling.

The email went on to explain that the dog has never bitten or made contact but that the behaviour is a concern because the family's toddler loves to interact with the dog and other children just want to hug it because of how cute it looks.

This wasn't the first email I’ve received about dogs that behave aggressively when people (especially children or strangers) get too close, hug or manhandle a dog and it won’t be the last. In fact, in my work as an animal behaviourist and consultant, human-directed aggression is a common issue I’m called in to assist with.

Image 1: Do you think this dog is enjoying being hugged? 

What’s wrong with hugging dogs?

So why do some dogs respond aggressively to being hugged? What’s wrong with hugging dogs? It’s how we show them we love them so it must be ok, right? The answer may surprise you…

Research looking into this phenomenon is lacking in the scientific literature. However, this issue came to light recently when canine behaviour expert Stanley Coren wrote an article for Psychology Today about an informal study he did (not published in the scientific literature) in which photos of people hugging dogs, freely available on the internet, were analysed for signs of canine stress or anxiety. 

The results of this study indicated that about 82% of the dogs in the photos showed some sign of discomfort, stress or anxiety. Not surprisingly, this article caused some controversy, upsetting many dog owners who take pleasure in hugging their dogs.

Hugging is a form of intimacy found in all human societies. We inherited this tendency from our closest relatives, chimpanzees, who also hug and kiss one another. So it’s not surprising that humans use hugs as a reward for their dogs. The thing is, dogs don’t hug one another and have not evolved to understand what a human hug means. The closest thing that dogs might do to each other that resembles a hug is mounting - both a sexual behaviour and one used to communicate dominance¹ - or during an argument (see image #2 below). So what kind of message are we sending our dogs when we hug them?! The answer lies in their body language…

Image 2: These dogs may look like they're hugging but they're actually fighting.
Credit: David Shankbone CC BY-SA 2.5-2.0-1.0 via Wikimedia Commons

How can I tell if my dog enjoys being hugged?

I used to hug my dogs too, especially my Boxer, Archie who sadly passed away in 2015. I could tell he didn’t enjoy it as much as I did. Rather, he tolerated it. I did it because I enjoyed it and it felt good but rarely did I stop and think, is he really ok with being hugged, until I knew better. Like many dog owners, I assumed he understood the sentiments behind the hug. Our late Labrador Joe was never into hugs and never sought them out but our newest dog Lenny, who we adopted in 2017, is absolutely MAD for hugs. He seeks them out several times per day and during most of our interactions with him. I should clarify that Lenny enjoys hugs from me and my husband but sometimes shows mild stress signals (licking his lips and whale eye) if either of my two young children (3 and 4 years old) sneak in a hug. 

Something else to consider is that not all hugs are equal and different styles of hugs may be tolerated, or even enjoyed, more than others. For example, a bear hug with both arms tightly held around a dog’s neck, shoulders or body (see images 3 & 4) is more likely to cause stress because it momentarily immobilises the dog. In contrast, a familiar arm over a dog that’s comfortably resting combined with gentle patting or stroking or cradling a puppy while it's sleeping (see image 5) are likely to be pleasurable and enjoyable for both parties. Archie our Boxer preferred this style of hug to a bear hug and once this became blindingly obvious to me,  I changed the way I hugged him. 

Image 3: This dog may appear to be enjoying the hug and "kissing" it's owner. but looks can be deceiving - licking the owners face is an appeasement behaviour.

Image 4: A different style of hug but still this dog is uncomfortable. 

Image 5: This puppy is calm and relaxed being held and stroked.

You can tell if your dog enjoys hugs and what kind of hug it prefers by observing it’s body language. Signs of stress that indicate hugs may not be your dogs thing include: lip licking, whale eye (whites of the eyes clearly visible), ears held back or down, turning away, yawning, avoiding eye contact, panting, lifting a paw and avoidance. More overt body language which indicates you should immediately stop hugging your dog include baring teeth, growling, snapping, nipping and biting.

Signs of a dog that is relaxed and potentially enjoying being hugged can include a loose body, soft/squinty/closed eyes, a relaxed mouth and facial expression, lying down, head resting on you, ears in a neutral position and steady breathing (see image 5 again). For more information on reading canine body language, including signs of stress/anxiety or relaxation, see this article.

I'm not saying you should never hug your dog again. The take home message here is not to assume all dogs like hugs because it's quite likely the opposite is true. Rather, I suggest erring on the side of caution, especially if you have a dog with an unknown history, young children or a dog that is fearful or anxious. Don’t hug dogs you don’t know. You have no idea of their temperament, personality or past experiences. Even if it’s the cutest damn dog you’ve ever seen. You wouldn’t hug a complete stranger and, even if you did, you would stop if they told you too. 

Teach children not to hug (or even approach) dogs they don’t know. Teach them that dogs prefer a gentle scratch under the chin or on their chest, shoulder or back - and only if they are relaxed and approach calmly of their own accord to interact. Just as we wouldn’t expect a child to hug or kiss a complete stranger it’s unfair to expect our dogs to tolerate the same thing from people or children they don't know. 

Dogs probably tolerate hugs from people they have a strong attachment bond, and trusting relationship with, but that doesn’t mean we should expect them to tolerate a hug from anyone, let alone a complete stranger. You can learn more about how to "ask" your dog if they'd like a pat or a hug by watching this excellent YouTube video.

Dr Kate x

Don't forget to follow Dr Kate on Facebook and Instagram!

References:

Overall, K. L. (1997). Clinical behavioral medicine for small animals. Mosby-Year Book, Inc..

Preparing Your Pets for the Arrival of Your Baby

The arrival of a baby is a highly anticipated, exciting, overwhelming, and joyous event. With all the thought and preparation that goes into setting up the home and nursery, the regular pregnancy check ups and dealing with all the symptoms of pregnancy itself (hello morning sickness, hormones, tiredness, aches and pains etc), many expectant parents forget their pets may need help adjusting to the imminent changes.

Recovering from the birth, whether natural or cesarean, can take up to 6 weeks or more. Coupled with the sleep deprivation and exhaustion that comes hand in hand with caring for a newborn (feeding, changing, burping, settling, bathing etc), finding the time and patience to deal with behaviour problems in your pets can be difficult. Indeed, this is often when I get a call from distraught parents whose pet's behaviour has severely deteriorated.

                                 

The good news is that a little preparation and know how can help reduce the likelihood you’ll encounter problems with your pet once your baby comes home. 

(Photo: source)

Bringing home baby can affect pets differently

Having a baby brings with it significant changes to your life and your routine will change to accommodate and care for your new little bundle. Pets will be affected by these changes in different ways, depending on their personality and temperament, past experiences and the degree to which their routine changes once the baby arrives. For example, if your dog is timid and a little fearful in general and in unfamiliar situations, it's probably more likely to find a baby a bit scary at first. Whereas if your dog is generally calm and relaxed and not phased by novelty then you may find they adjust very well to sharing their home with your new little person.

Archie checking out Nate and his toy

This was evident in my own dogs when our first baby came home from hospital. Our nine year old boxer, Archie, was very curious and interested yet quite anxious about Nathan, whereas our eight year old Labrador, Joseph, was very nonchalant. This surprised me. Although neither dog had any prior experience with babies, I had expected Archie would be fascinated and attentive to our little one but this was not the case. Archie didn’t cope very well not having the same level of attention and interaction he normally received from me. I continued to work on teaching him to associate little Nathan with lots of positive experiences and was making good progress. Sadly, after several weeks we discovered Archie had advanced lymphoma. He died peacefully at home when Nate was just four months old.

Joseph remains unfazed by Nate, now 16 months old, and is most interested in him when he’s eating (Nate drops a lot of food) – typical Lab!. When our second baby, Zachary, arrived last month it was as if Joe barely noticed. He remains his usual laid back self and we have maintained his normal routine as much as possible.

Joe knows to stay on his bed until Nate has finished eating

The experiences your pet has with your baby, good and bad, will also influence how they cope. Being mindful to ensure their interactions are positive will help their relationship get off to the right start. We continue to build a positive association between Joseph and the boys by including Joe in family life, going on regular walks together and rewarding Joe's good behaviour with his favourite thing - FOOD!

My tips for success

My own experiences introducing our two dogs to our babies reinforced to me that preparation really is the key to success.

Here is a general list of some of the things you can do to help your pet adjust to life with a newborn. Ideally, many of these changes should be made well before the baby arrives to allow your pet time to become accustomed to them: 

• Introduce nursery furniture and other baby-related items (e.g. bouncer, play gym, pram etc) as early as possible and pair them with high value treats for calm and compliant behaviour. This helps to create a positive association with the new items. 
• Use baby gates to section off any areas of the home you don't want your pet to access once baby is home.
• Ensure your pet is compliant and well behaved and, if not, address any behaviour issues with the help of a reputable trainer or behaviourist. 
• Take your pet to the vet for a check up. If your vet identifies a health problem, it can be treated and, hopefully, alleviated prior to baby coming home.
• Teach your dog to be comfortable walking next to the pram. Walking your dog with the baby is a great way to create a positive association with bubs for your dog. Teaching your dog to stay on a mat or bed is another very useful behaviour which allows your dog to be near you without getting under your feet.
• If your pet usually sleeps on your bed and you plan to feed your baby in bed, you may not want your pet to sleep there once your baby arrives. If this is the case, teach your pet to sleep elsewhere, such as on their own bed on the floor.
• Play sounds of babies cooing and crying and pair with high value treats for calm and compliant behaviour. This will help to create a positive association with these sounds and reduce the chance of your pet fearing your new baby.
• Try to implement any changes to your pet’s routine prior to the baby arriving. For example, if you plan to feed and walk them at different times once baby comes home, begin doing so well beforehand if possible.
• Once your baby is born, have your partner or a family member bring home a blanket with your baby's scent on it. Let your pet smell the blanket and pair with praise, pats and high value treat. Everything baby should be wonderful for your pet!
• Provide your pet with a quiet, safe place they can retreat to. A crying baby can stress pets out too! For dogs, access to another room with a comfy bed or the outdoors on sunny days is ideal. For cats confined to the house, cat towers or shelving with a bed or enclosed pod provide a place they can escape to if they feel unsure. Access to outdoor space via a cat park or enclosure can also help reduce stress.

The introduction

Pets can easily become overwhelmed with the excitement of their owner coming home from the hospital so introducing your pet to your baby should be done as calmly and quietly as possible. Waiting until your pet is calm and your baby is fed and sleeping is ideal. Sitting down and holding your baby while your partner brings your dog into the room on a lead is a good option for calm and obedient dogs. For more excitable dogs, a baby gate separating them from you and your baby adds an extra element of safety.

Use verbal praise, pats and favourite treats to reward calm and compliant behaviour in the presence of the baby. This should continue on a daily basis and in different situations (e.g. when baby is crying, in a carrier, in the pram, in the bassinet, being changed, being fed etc) and will help your pet learn to associate the baby, and being calm and compliant when in their presence, with lots of positive experiences. Begin with short training sessions (a minute or two) and gradually increase the duration if your pet is coping well. Begin to allow your pet to spend more time near your baby (under supervision) and include them in daily activities once you can see they're calm and comfortable in the presence of the baby.

From newborn to infant to toddler and beyond

Archie enjoying gentle pats

As your baby grows and develops they will become more mobile and curious about your pet. Babies and young children like to grab and touch with their hands and get their face up close to things that interest them. This makes most pets very uncomfortable. Children are poor at reading and responding to the early warning signs (avoidance, wide eyes, lip licking, yawning etc). Indeed, statistics show that incidents of dog bites most often occur in the home environment and involve children and dogs that are known to them. Pets and children should ALWAYS be supervised when together, no matter how much you trust your pet. If they can’t be supervised, they must be safely separated.

Seeking assistance from a reputable trainer or behaviourist to assess your pet and help you prepare them for the arrival of your baby is highly recommended. These professionals can tailor a management, training and behaviour modification plan to you and your pet’s individual situation and provide ongoing support if needed.

Further information and resources

Books:

Tell your dog you're pregnant and Tell your cat you're pregnant by Dr Lewis Kirkham

How to introduce your dog to your baby by Kathy Kopellis McLeod

Websites:
We are Family - for expectant parents (The Victoria Government)

Blogging again: Some news and what's to come...

Hello and welcome!
Welcome to the Pets Behaving Badly blog, version 2.0! So yeah, I've been a bit ok, VERY slack the last few years, blogging-wise, but I'm excited to be back and hopefully posting on a regular (or at least semi-regular) basis.

So, what's news?
Let's just say that life got in the way a bit, as it tends to do, but some pretty exciting stuff has been happening. Firstly, I became a mum! Last May my husband and I welcomed our first little human, Nathan, into the world. I can't believe he's nearly 15 months old already. Everyone says the first year flies and it really did. Being a parent has been such an incredible experience and we are beyond excited to be expecting our second little person next month. I'm currently on maternity leave and taking a break from consulting but I anticipate returning to work, on a part-time basis, in March next year. In the mean time I'm looking forward to keeping in touch via Facebook: Pets Behaving Badly with Dr Kate - Animal Behaviourist and this blog.

Me and my little man, Nate

The other exciting news is that I finished my PhD. HOORAY! My research focused on public attitudes towards shelter dogs and the assessment of dog behaviour to determine adoption suitability. It was a long and challenging "journey" but simultaneously lots of fun and incredibly rewarding. I recently wrote a guest post summarising my research and findings for Dr Jo Righetti's blog, if you'd like to know more.

Graduation day. Doing a PhD does make you a little crazy :)

Mostly life has been awesome! Except when we had to say goodbye to our much loved Boxer, Archie, in September last year. Archie was diagnosed with advanced lymphoma and only lived another 6 weeks after his initial diagnosis. He was 9 years old and we miss him terribly. He has left a Boxer-shaped hole in our world and we so look forward to the day we welcome another Boxer into our home. I'm so glad that our little fella Nate met Archie but I'm not sure the feeling was mutual. I'll be writing about introducing babies and existing pets as well as pet loss, including my personal experiences, in future posts.

Archie (9 years) and Nathan (9 weeks)

Other than kids and a PhD, running Pets Behaving Badly has kept me very busy. Most of my work still involves consulting pet owners to help them understand and modify problem behaviour but I also consult to industry and those working with animals in a professional capacity. I continue to write freelance about all things animal behaviour, for magazines like Pets Magazine, and recently wrote a book chapter about companion animals for a tertiary text book about Human-Animal Interactions. In addition to this I work as an expert witness in cases involving menacing or dangerous dogs, present seminars and workshops and occasionally lecture in human-animal relationships at LaTrobe University.

That's nice but why should I follow this blog?
Good question! If you love pets and you're interested to learn more about their behaviour, welfare and management then this is your kind of blog and you should subscribe for regular updates! No pressure :)

Posts will draw on my experiences as an applied animal behaviourist, research scientists and mum to provide readers with helpful and practical tips to understand, manage and resolve common pet behaviour problems and to enhance the owner-pet relationship. I also plan to bring you the latest scientific discoveries relevant to companion animals and the human-animal bond.

Your input and suggestions for blog posts is most welcome. So if you have a question, or a concern regarding your pet's behaviour, let us know via the Facebook page and we'll do our best to write about it in a blog post.

In the mean time, go have fun with your pets!

Dr Kate :)